Posted in Soprano Musings

So What If I Fall?!

Time sure does fly when you have to be an adult.

Last night I went out to my local skating rink with some friends for Adult Skate night and was painfully reminded of that fact. When I was in the fifth grade, my class went on a field trip to a roller rink and I flove it! I remember skating for the first time, just giggling by myself and feeling so free surrounded the bright lights as the DJ blared music through the speakers.

That is not how this outing started.

It had been years since I’ve taken on the skating floor, and I spent the first 20 minutes there worrying about breaking a bone from kissing the floor. Also, I forgot to stretch my legs before strapping on my boat size skates and my shins were on fire after a few laps around the rink! LOL

My friends were totally great about it – even the other adults that whizzed by me as I clumsily made rounds around the rink. With their bright smiles and “Yeah! You can do it!” pep chants, I had a great time. But what really got me out of my head and over my feelings was the sounds of Kim Wilde 🙂

When I heard her cover of ‘You Keep Me Hanging On’, I started singing along and somehow ended up on the skating on the floor. My shin pain and wobbly feet took a back seat and I was so happy – just like I was when in the fifth grade and skating for the first time.

This time when the shin pain came back and I had to sit again I was upset because I had wanted to keep skating! And by the time ‘Motivation’ by Kelly Rowland started to play, my shins were good and I headed back to out to the floor 🙂

And while skating, I had a moment.

“Why am I so afraid of falling? I’m planning a solo trip overseas to teach and travel, and I’m tripping right now over falling on the floor in front of my friends? Why?”

I started thinking about what exactly would happen if I did fall. Maybe someone would laugh, but I knew that someone would also come to my side and ask if I were okay. I would tell them that I am okay and proceed to lift myself back up, take another break, and start skating again.

“Going to Thailand solo is way scarier than this!” I told myself as I begin to pick up the pace. Going to Thailand alone is scary sometimes, but not scary enough for me to not want to do it at all. Just like any adventure in life – the hardest (and nerve racking) part is always when you first start. With that in mind, I kept skating.

After a few more songs, I met an angel.

A beautiful, long raven hair, hip swaying, roller rink angel 🙂

She took my hands and explained to me how to best find my balance. As Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing’ played in the background, this sweet woman reminded me to find the rhythm (and to bend my knees-lol) to guide me around the rink.

And I was reminded again about my trip. Yeah, I will be solo for the most part, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t ask for help along the way. I do have friends that care about me and will help me if they can. Remembering that at the exact same time as Mary J. Blige’s song ‘I’m Fine’ started playing had me grinning from ear to ear.

It was in that moment, whether on the roller rink here, or on a plane to chase my dreams – I would be fine. I have good friends, and am capable of taking care of myself. As long as I remain positive and get back up if I do fall.

I’m going to be just fine.

For more of my story about my plans to teach and travel aboard, please click on the link below:

https://www.gofundme.com/732hkk

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Author:

Music has always been a part of me. No matter how many times I would try to pursue a career in something else I would find myself coming right back to it. So now I am done with running scared. I was all in on this journey. And I'm so glad that I saw it through, because it lead me to something that I love. Something that I didn't think was possible - the ability to become a self published author. For years I have written poems, my thoughts, short stories, and songs. Really it was just therapy to me, but now I want to see where else it can take me too. So I'm learning the social media ropes thanks to all these social media outlets. Also working up my nerve to face the networking scene for the artists and musicians in my hometown too. All with the hopes of connect with others who love music as much as I do. And to make some coin by music and write freelancing. Let's see what happens, shall we?

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