Day 7: Point of Fear

Does anyone remember back in the day when Jerry Springer had a real talk show?

No disrespect to him, I get it – the times have changed and he is not the only TV show host lacking in this department for the sake of ratings.

The one episode that made me present ya’ll with this question was a racially charged one. About not liking their family members’ significant other (or in most cases, their husbands) because they were not of the same race. I was really young when this aired, so if anyone wants to fact check what I’m about to say, please feel free 🙂

At the end of the segment, he went into his final thought (does he still do that with what they air now?). He told a story about his grandfather that kept his car in the garage, always with a full tank of gas and in peak condition. Now this part I have to paraphrase (again, I was a youngen when this was on TV), but I remember him asking his granddad why does he keep the car. Why doesn’t he just sell it since he never drives it?

He said, “Just in case. In case we need to get away again.” Now as a child I didn’t fully understand what he meant by that. Then going to school a few years later, I learned about the Civil War, slavery, the Holocaust, and my view of the world started to change. But I still somehow held out hope that the world – the States – would learn from history.

I thought, “Yeah, that was so fucked up, but that would never, never ever happen again.”

Then this years’ rounds of elections happened and shattered that belief.

Like most folks, I thought it was funny when I heard about the Republican party candidates. Then as the weeks progressed, it wasn’t funny anymore. And last night, after I stepped out of the shower, a fear that I have never, never ever known gripped my heart so tight that I almost collapsed on my bathroom floor. As I hugged the corners of my sink and stared in the mirror, the first tear fell. And for almost an hour – a whole damn hour – I was rooted to the spot.

When I finally calmed down, I picked up my camera and with shaky hands took three pictures.

Not for this project, but so that I could try to capture this moment and never forget it. How fear can affect folks. How it makes you blind to certain truths – about the world and about yourself. It doesn’t solve problems. It doesn’t cure anything.

And I will be damned – DAMNED ya’ll – if I allow it to have that kind of effect on me again.

Name a fear of yours and how did you overcome it?