Okay, remember some time before the New Year when I fell head first into my feelings? Yeah, today, after flat out avoiding the triggers of what made me fall off the grid for those last few weeks, I now find myself being forced to face them full throttle.

In order for me to do that without ‘going dark’, I felt it would be best to just drop off all the remaining literary luggage that I have from that period. So today, I will be dropping it off here.

Please know that I am okay now. I am okay now because I know that my feelings are valid and it is important to get them out, instead of holding on to them. 

Once I post these last few thoughts, my hope is that if I ever feel the way that I felt when I wrote these thoughts down, that I remember how I dealt with them and not allow myself to get so depressed.

It is an on going thing with me and I will continue to fight it by choosing to find happiness and inspiration everywhere that I can. 

Less than a week was all it took.

For raw feelings, miscommunication, and helplessness to take root.

Now I am packing my bags and not bothering with goodbyes.

Because this is absolutely the last time.
That I will step through your front door.
To be berated, disrespected, and ignored.
To have those who were once in charge of my childhood to come at me with cheap verbal swords.
I am done with feeling this way.
And now there is nothing or no one that can make stay.
My heart is heavy, but already the mend.
Now that my realization has set in.
These tears will dry just as quickly as they fell.
My mind may someday forgive.
And when asked how could I make walking away seem so easy.
I will say, “It was only because they never saw me in the first place.”

Copyright 2016. All Rights Reserved


Published by sopranomusingsphotography

Seeing one 'acceptable' troupe for fat black women like me was more than enough to entice me to step up and take a shot! ______________________________________________________________________________________________ After spending hours on stock pile sites and not finding the images of women that she wanted to see on her blog or book covers led K. McCoy to make more of her photography hobby. Besides shooting portraits, street and travel photography, K. McCoy would love to tap more into her creative skills and collaborate with cosplay artists as well as authors looking for their dream book covers. To connect with Soprano Musings Photography further, visit their Facebook page or slide into their Instagram DMs at 'sopranomusingsshots' today!

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